i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
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