i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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