whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
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Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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