We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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