im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
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I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
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I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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