we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I wish you could order shots online.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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