bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
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Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
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You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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