he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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