one two three fourrrrnication!
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
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