Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
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