can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
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So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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