If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
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He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
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All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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