he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize