He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
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I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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