I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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