We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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