So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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