girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
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