I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
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I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
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I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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