Capitaan dildo arrescate!
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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