They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Never joke about your clitoris.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize