i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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