I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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