I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
farters have to be the big spoon...
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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