You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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