If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
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