You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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