I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
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Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
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Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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