yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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