Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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