they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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