either way he was missing a nipple.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Drunk is not a location!
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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