Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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