Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize