His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize