I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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