Already got asked if we're dating
Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Randomize