Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
So many bounce houses so little time
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize