so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize