apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
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I will be naked everywhere
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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