You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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