I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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