You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
How external is "for external use only"?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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