two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
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Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
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Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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