I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
he shaved USA in his pubs
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
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