the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
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I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize