nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize