If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize