Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Randomize