I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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